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you are right I am wr… wr… wrong

July 26, 2011

It just wasn’t our year…

we are consolidating – developing some of the up and coming new talent so that the year after next will be our year …

the draw was against us … there were some questionable decisions…

Damn right there were.

Most likely by you and most likely right at the beginning.

If you are fighting to protect Queen or Country it can bring out the best in you. If you are fighting to protect your ego it can bring out the worst.

When you have invested a lot of your ego you have a lot of your ego to lose.

Something as simple as declaring your allegiance is where it all starts.  You decide to follow a team (or adopt a position in an argument) and the longer (or more publicly) you do that the more likely you are to become a rabid fan – because only a fool would follow a team of losers right! Right?

And so the draw will be against you, the weather, the referees. (The modelling is wrong, the scientists biased.)

Unlucky injuries, accidental incidents that go before an unsympathetic judiciary. (Change is natural, influenced by many other factors)

Anything that justifies your loyalty to the team, your relationship with them and your investment of time and energy and money (and ego) in them. They are not losers (and neither am I!).

Except that some teams are never going to win (and some positions are wrong).

Once you have invested so much (and in some cases staked you career on it)  it takes a lot to say “I was wrong.”

Sometimes too much.

All relationships are like that.

We invest in our employers:

Your newspaper has done some pretty dodgy stuff. How can you work for an organisation that would allow that sort of thing to happen?” and we are reluctant to admit that we were fooled by their hype. “It is not like that! The paper I work for now is not the same paper that allowed that sort of behaviour to occur. We are doing some really good things. It is different now.

We invest in our friends:

 “What are you thinking hanging around with someone like that?” and we are reluctant to admit that our parents saw what we could not. “They just don’t understand that is how teenagers are these days. They are out of touch.

We invest in our partners:

Oh my God! I can’t believe that you are actually going to marry him?” and we are reluctant to admit that we should have listened to our friends. “You don’t see the side of him that I do when we are alone. You are jealous because we don’t get to spend so much time together any more.

Even when people open your eyes to the fact that you have been deceived or provided with misinformation, your behaviour and responses will continue to be effected –  even if it has been corrected numerous times.

If you believe in something strongly and it’s really important to you as a person [your worldview] you will cling to that no matter what.

But what is worse is when we are so heavily invested in our beliefs about ourselves – we are not successful, not capable, not good – that we will cling to those beliefs no matter what.

What are your most strongly held and strongly defended beliefs about yourself? What is it that you just can’t do?

Is there a chance that you might be wr…  wr…  wrong?


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One Comment leave one →
  1. Sandie permalink
    July 26, 2011 4:53 pm

    I wish I could have learned, accepted and practiced that in my 20’s. My 30’s have allowed this to happen but that ego is a pretty powerful thing. Hoping to be well practiced through my 40’s.

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