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if you don’t have anything nice to say…

May 27, 2016

It has been a long time since I have posted anything here. For a while I told myself it was because I was busy – with work, with family, with all manner of things. But what I have come to realise is that I write when I think I have made sense of something and I believe that something is worth sharing.

The truth is that for much of 2016 I have struggled to make sense of what is going on around me. In my city, in my country and in my world. One thing I have either heard or read recently is that times of tumultuous change brings out the worst and the best in us.

What life looks like on the other side of that tumult depends on whether we choose to respond out of fear or out of hope.

That much makes sense to me and I believe that message is worth sharing.

How to do it? I haven’t figured that out yet. But I am hopeful.

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

 

what would Jack Sock do?

January 25, 2016
tags:

During the Samurai Game we spend some time exploring the concept of Bushido – a set of values attributed to Samurai and other warriors that we invite people to use to guide their decision-making during the experience. Values like: Honesty. Integrity. Honour. Respect. Courage. Benevolence. Rectitude.

The workshop provides an opportunity for people to see what it means to truly live and die, win or lose, by a set of values.

It can be difficult to find contemporary examples of what Bushido might look like and what it means to live your life guided by it.  We often see courage in the face of adversity and natural disasters. We see respect shown for those who have served us or perhaps respect shown for those we believe have earned it. We see benevolence in the giving of money or clothes to those who need it more than the giver.

They are nice but they are not Bushido.

If you want to see Bushido and its values being lived in each moment take a look at this video of US tennis player Jack Sock in his game against Lleyton Hewitt in the Hopman Cup in January 2016. Watch it a couple of times and keep in mind Jack is one point away from set point when the first serve is called out.

I offer it for you to use as a reference point as you go about the days that make up your life.

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

 

 

putting your life in someone else’s hands

December 18, 2015
Daimyo Armour from Seki, Japan c. 1600 AD

Daimyo Armour, Seki c.1600 AD

Life was not cheap then, but lives were often given and easily spent.

Samurai were required to publicly pledge their lives into the service of their Daimyo Lords. The Samurai understood that such a pledge gave the Daimyo control over their days and the authority to command them: to charge into battle, to stay behind while others charged or to stand by and do nothing. It wasn’t a pledge to be made lightly nor was it a pledge that was received lightly. With the authority to lead others comes the responsibility to lead them well and the power to change lives in an instant. The power to create lives and to end lives.

Putting your life into someone else’s hands sounds like an archaic sort of thing to do. Something best left in the 16th and 17th centuries perhaps and surely not something we need in more enlightened times?

Think for a moment though of the last time you first met the person who would be your “boss”. The person who has control over much of your days. What sort of conversation did you have with them? You probably signed an employment contract with someone from HR that outlined your commitments and theirs. But did you have a conversation with your boss?

Did they explicitly request that you give them the authority to lead? Did you explicitly give them the authority to lead you, acknowledging that even though you might not agree with their decisions you commit yourself to executing them to the best of your ability?

While I have made that pledge before as a participant in a Samurai Game, I have just done just it for the first time in my corporate life. It is not that I have never granted anyone that authority, it is just the first time I have told them that I am. When you do it explicitly it makes you think carefully about who you are making that commitment to and what you are prepared to give. You are putting a large part of your life in their hands after all.

I know from my experiences with the Samurai Game that receiving that commitment also changes people. Many are reluctant and many cannot initially understand what their team see in them that allows others to pledge their life into their service.

Good leaders know that with the responsibility comes accountability and that can feel like a heavy weight to bear. Without it I don’t think there can be real leadership. With it, so much more is possible.

Think about it the next time you put your life in someone else’s hands…

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

 

death is silent but insistent in its demands

November 30, 2015

Death is silent but insistent in its demands – that we choose how we will live.

In each moment death stands silently by and insists that we choose.

“How will you live? In this moment? And in this moment?”

Our lives are the result of those choices.

 

Death is silent but if we are fortunate before death claims us we may speak on death’s behalf.

Not with death’s voice but with our own, not of death’s choices but of our own.

What we chose not to do. What we chose not to say. Where we chose not to go. Who we chose not to love. Perhaps even why…

… but never of when.

We may never speak of a time when we did not choose.

 

Death, despite the silence, remains resolute, insistent throughout our life:

“You must choose!”

In that you have no choice because not choosing is also a choice. It is the choice that gives death a thunderous voice.

Those who avoid making a choice will be the ones who speak the loudest when death approaches and wordlessly demands:

“Speak of your choices for they are the measure of your living and of your dying.”

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

the secret to successful (and fair) negotiations

November 23, 2015

Nothing you negotiate will ever be fair. Ever.

Zygons from Dr Who

Three Zygons

I know that because there are Zygons living among us! It is the result of an agreement negotiated to prevent a global conflict between us humans and the aliens that would have ultimately led to mass casualties and suffering on both sides. Oh, and a spoiled world for the victor – whomever that might have been. Fortunately, common sense prevailed (thank you Doctor) and a peace agreement was negotiated that was fair to all parties.

But if nothing you will ever negotiate will be fair, how can anyone create a negotiated outcome that is the best possible outcome for the parties involved? I am not talking about an “I can live with that compromise if I am forced to…”  sort of agreement that ultimately leads to resentment,  I mean a truly fair, win-win result. Can you imagine that?

Dr Who can.

You make the parties to the negotiations forget which side they are on.  Because, if you don’t know which side of the agreement you are going to end up on it changes the way you think about the policy and processes you want to put in place. There is no “them”. Just “us”.

Imagine if the representatives of the Australian Government responsible for refugee policy were put in a room with refugees and then all of them were made to temporarily forget who was seeking refuge from who?

Imagine if those who develop policy around law and order were put in a room with the people who transgress those laws – neither knowing who will be administering “justice” and who will be receiving it. I am guessing we would get closer to a restorative justice model than the model we see operating around us today.

Imagine what would happen if those who believe industry has a right to pollute the environment, displace local populations and repatriate the profits were put in the same room as the people who must breathe the air, drink the water and continue living their lives along side that industry. Would you pollute the water if you knew your kids would have to drink it?

Imagine if we put healthy, well paid 20-somethings with great career prospects in the same room as unemployed, homeless 20-somethings with mental health issues and left them to sort out what our unemployment and healthcare systems should look like – neither knowing whether they were sleeping in a bed or under a bridge when they finished the negotiations that day. Then you would get fair. Then you would get equitable.

I guess that is the wonderful thing about science fiction. It allows us to imagine a future that may never exist. The wonderful thing about being human (and maybe even about being alien) is that once you imagine it you have started the process of creating it. Imagine that.

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

self portrait – pencil and self-deception, 2015

November 16, 2015

I have always struggled to draw faces. And there is one I find particularly challenging.

Mine.

Self portrait November 2015Drawing someone else’s face is difficult but it isn’t challenging. They look how they look and when I do try to draw them it doesn’t worry me that much that my attempts to capture a likeness on paper falls well short.

We are very comfortable looking at someone else and drawing our own conclusions about what motivates them, their values, how they show up in the world, whether they have two faces or just one. Sure it can be difficult and sometimes we get it wrong but that doesn’t really matter, the picture we create of them will do for today.

Drawing a self-portrait however, requires that I actually spend some time looking at my own face – the one I have spent more time with than any other but have spent the least amount of time observing. It doesn’t look like I imagine it to look (or how I want it to look if the truth be told). My forehead seems too big – even when it sits between the enormity of my ears.

Self portrait, 2009Sitting in front of the mirror with pencil in hand I have to continually remind myself to draw what I see, not what I wished I saw. Looking at the page and not the mirror, I have to fight the urge to add lines, to make things smaller or bigger, to simplify or change the relationship between parts of me that cannot be changed. There is nowhere to hide – I am as I appear to be.

Even harder still is sitting down in front of a different kind of mirror, the mirror provided by the people we live with, the people we work with. Seeing ourselves reflected through their eyes we start to notice that we don’t look to them like we imagine we do (or how we want to look if the truth be told).

And here too we need to remind ourselves to create the picture from what they show us, not what we want to see. It is difficult to resist the urge to add a more truthful mouth or make our ego bigger or smaller than it actually is, to simplify or change the relationship between them and us.

We need the courage to create a picture of what is and to put down on paper what they say they see, even though there are many things about ourselves that we might want to change, and could change, but haven’t.

Once you are able to do that the real work can begin.

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

Sitting Watching People Talking – spiders, gender equality and Ricky Bobby

November 9, 2015

We all do it. I know you do. You sit at a coffee shop or at a restaurant or on a bus (anywhere really that you can sit and watch people talk) and you listen in to conversations that other people are having. You can’t turn to see their faces so you just sit and watch other people while you listen. Sometimes the conversations are nothing special but sometimes they can be extraordinary.

It is in that spirit that I present Sitting Watching People Talking – an occasional series in which I hope to share the best parts of the interesting conversations you always have (or hear) while you are sitting watching people talking. Unscripted and unrehearsed, this episode starts with a friend and a spider in the shower and ends reflecting on fundamental human tendencies stopping at gender equality and religious fundamentalism along the way. All in under 5 minutes!! Take a listen (watch if you want) and leave me a comment to let me know what you think of the concept, whether you prefer the written blogs, how it could be improved – that sort of thing.

Sitting Watching People Talking – Pilot Episode 1 :
Incy-wincy spider, religious fundamentalism, gender equality and the Ballard of Ricky Bobby

 

***

If you would like me to come and share with you and your team the benefits that come from my work in the theatre and the experiential learning environments that I create, make me an offer via the Contact Me page.

Here is what some participants have said about their experience with me:

I have just been reflecting on the amazing success of our Year 6 and 7 Leadership retreats this year. Finding a way to engage and motivate students for two days about the qualities of leadership in a practical way is no mean feat. Keeping 60 boys engaged for that period of time is even more […]

Claire Howden (Assistant Principal-Religious Education)

I attended one of Paul’s public offerings of The Samurai Game in early 2015 and was very impressed, both with Paul’s skills as a facilitator and the immense personal/professional value of the game itself. I would have no hesitation recommending The Samurai Game as an avenue of personal development/reflection, or as part of a leadership […]

Matthew Francis (HR Professional)

For more on the Samurai Game you should start here and here.

If you enjoyed reading this or my other posts and you would like to read more, you can subscribe and receive them via email simply by putting your email address into the Email Subscription box just on the right of my blog home page. You will receive a confirmation email (which some systems will think is spam so keep an eye on your junk mail) that you need to acknowledge to complete the subscription process.

After you have subscribed, send this post on to your friends. Go on. You know at least one person who should read this post and three more who could use a bit of shaking up… seriously. Do it now. You read this far so send it on! I promise they won’t judge you or think less of you if you do.

 

 

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